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Top 9 things never to do in China 1. Never get upset in public Public displays of anger are frowned upon by the Chinese and are most uncomfortable for them to deal with — especially if the people getting angry are foreign tourists, for example. This goes right along with making someone (usually the Chinese host) lose face, which you should avoid at all costs. The Chinese place a premium on group harmony, so foreigners should try to swallow hard, be polite, and cope privately. 2. Never accept a compliment graciously You may find yourself at a loss for words when you compliment a Chinese host on a wonderful meal, and you get in response, "No, no, the food was really horrible." These people aren't being nasty . . . just humble and polite. A little less boasting and fewer self-congratulatory remarks go a long way towards scoring cultural sensitivity points with the Chinese. 3. Never address people by their first names first Chinese people have first and last names like everyone else. However, in China, the last name always comes first. The family (and the collective in general) always takes precedence over the individual. For example, my Chinese name is Li Míng, assuming I am a Chinese, you can safely refer to me as Mr. Li (not Mr. Míng). 4. Never make someone lose face The worst thing you can possibly do to Chinese acquaintances is publicly humiliate or otherwise embarrass them. Doing so makes them lose face. Don't point out a mistake in front of others or yell at someone. 5. Never let someone else pay the bill without fighting for it In the past, I was stunned the first time I witnessed the many fairly chaotic, noisy scenes at the end of a Chinese restaurant meal. The time to pay the bill has come and everyone is simply doing what they're expected to do — fight to be the one to pay it. The Chinese consider it good manners to vociferously and strenuously attempt to wrest the bill out of the very hands of whoever happens to have it.
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